November 10, 2020

Juliana* was preparing for an order of protection hearing against her physically abusive partner. She had been staying with him for their four children—a fact he exploited to keep her from leaving. But she was ready to take the first steps in breaking away. She had filed a petition and an attorney was assisting her. When they asked if she had any evidence, such as photos, texts, voicemails, etc., Juliana said she had no proof. She just had her own memory, which was significantly impacted by enduring years of constant trauma. Her attorney continued to work with her and, after several meetings, Juliana shared that every time her partner raped her, she marked the letter “a” in her phone calendar—for abuse. Over the six months prior to filing her order of protection, an “a” appeared in her calendar 32 times. She had not mentioned any of these rapes to her attorney, nor included the assaults in the petition for the order. This combination of violence is all too familiar to those working to support gender-based violence survivors.  

Juliana’s case illustrates the inextricable, common connection between domestic (or intimate partner violence) and sexual violence, and how many people struggle to identify it. Researchers report that women in abusive relationships are sexually assaulted by their partner at rates between 40–66% and 80% of women who were sexually assaulted within abusive relationships report it happened more than once. Violent partners use sexual harm as part of a pattern of abuse and control. They know gender-based violence fosters and thrives on silence, self-doubt, and fear—factors that seem to amplify when sexual and domestic violence are intertwined.

One study found that survivors whose assailant was a current or former partner are half as likely to report to police when compared to those assaulted by a stranger. Law enforcement’s grossly inadequate response to sexual assault is surely one reason survivors are hesitant to seek help. And responses seem to be even worse if the victim knew their assailant. A recent analysis by CAASE found that, in Chicago, reported sex offenses which typically involve people who are in a relationship or know each other had significantly lower arrest rates than those typically committed by a stranger and/ involving a weapon. Policing isn’t fostering trust of the system among these survivors. Neither are laws and cultural attitudes about rape within relationships.

The legal system exacerbates myths about sexual assault already prevalent in society; that assault occurring within companionship is less serious than when committed by strangers. Or consenting to a relationship means consenting to all forms of sexual intimacy. It wasn’t until 1993 that all 50 states criminalized rape within marriage, but even now the laws are not uniform across all states. Many offer exemptions or “loopholes” resulting in lesser charges, including 17 states that have caveats for when the survivor is drugged or incapacitated. Another example is revenge porn, a crime that frequently occurs within domestic violence relationships. It wasn’t criminalized in our own state of Illinois until 2015. 

Improving the justice system’s response to gender-based violence is a step in the right direction, but we must do more. We need to prioritize education on consent and healthy boundaries in relationships. We have worked with numerous survivors that have described a sexual assault but don’t name it as such because they weren’t clear on consent. Many thought “agreeing” to sex after their partner had threatened physical violence counted as consent. Survivors, like Juliana, often bury their experiences of sexual harm. She would endure the sexual abuse as long as her children were safe—a decision no one should ever have to make. The work of the movement against gender-based violence is crucial in helping survivors navigate these complex feelings and helping them name violations. 

The cultural and legal challenges survivors of sexual and domestic violence face trap them in similar, if not identical ways. Yet, legal and social services for each tend to be siloed from one another. To break down these barriers, CAASE has built partnerships with domestic violence organizations, like Family Rescue, that support clients who may be survivors of both domestic and sexual violence. We are also a member of The Network, a collaborative organization dedicated to improving the lives of those impacted by domestic violence. These alliances expand opportunities and resources for our clients. Our hope is that we can educate and support one another so we can make cultural change together to benefit all survivors. As we leave behind another Domestic Violence Awareness Month in which we have witnessed rates of domestic and sexual violence at an all-time high, we are committed to coming together as one community of advocates invested in reforming our legal and social landscape to better address and prevent all gender-based violence. 

Juliana* is a pseudonym for a real woman who was assisted by Caitlin Cervenka, a new CAASE Staff Attorney. 

This piece was authored by CAASE Staff Attorney Caitlin Cervenka, and Family Rescue’s Site Coordinator, Tessa Kuipers with assistance from CAASE’s Communications Manager, Hayley Forrestal.